When does it get better?
by musicart-life
Summary: no one hates Kurt for being gay, but yet his at the end of his rope. Can someone help him? Save him from himself?
1. prologue

**Disclaimer: No I don't own Glee**

Have you ever looked at a person, and think wow their life's must be perfect? Well sometime you would be right, and other very wrong. I'm the person that would fake a smile. I have a good life. I'm gay and I live in Ohio. No one even really cares about too. I have a step brother, Finn, two guys that are like my brother Sam and Puck. The football team doesn't make fun of me. They actually gave some one 'talk" to if they're ever mean to me. I'm in Glee. I have a loving family. We aren't poor. But yet I hate my self. I cut daily. No one even notices, how you may ask? Well I am very flamboyant, and I have to wear what's in 'style'. AKA Long sleeve shirts. You may even ask why I would even do something like this. Well I get raped. It happens a lot too. Maybe once a week? Every other week, or when I'm luck once a month. Its one of my dad's workers, he is also one of my dad's best friends too. I will never tell anyone. There is two reasons for this, One who really needs to know, right? Two I'm just so scared to... I wonder a lot if anything get's better. People always says it gets better, but when? 'cause right now I'm almost at the end of my rope. I'm ready to give up. I just can't keep on going like this. Hating me.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: No I don't own Glee**

"Kurt hurry up, we have to go!" Dad yelled to me.

I'm on the bathroom floor pretending to still be doing my hair. I'm really on the floor trying hard to seem busy so that Dad will leave me, so I don't have to go today. Guess that's not working today. I sighed and got up.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back.

looked in the bathroom mirror and 'smiled'. I then went downstairs to see that Puck,Sam and Finn were already at the table eating their breakfast. While Dad was at the door shaking his head, but he still had a smile on his face.i walked in the dining room, and grabbed an apple.

"Dude is that all you're going to eat?" Finn asked me.

"First off don't call me dude. And what do you think?" I respond back.

The boys and me walked out the dining room, outside to the car. We all worked together thanks to my dad. we worked in his car shop. Yes a mechanic shop, yes I do work with cars. Also one of the best in the whole shop. Thank you very much. Once we got there everyone got out of the car.

"Kurt can you help me with some of this paper work?" Erick asked me.

"I'm not sure, I was really looking forward to be working on a car," I said making up an excuse.

"Kurt go help him, you'll still have time to work on cars," Dad said walking away to his office.

Finn,Puck, and Sam smiled at me then also walked away. I followed Erick to a building behind the shop, that we use as an office at times. I went in first, Erick locked the door behind us. We were barely in the room for a minute before Erick pushed me up on the door, as his lips went all over my neck. His hands also started to roam all over me. As Erick did this I went to my own little word. I started to think of happy things, and moments. Our family nights, me and my girls, anything that would take my minds off this.

...

Erick left a long time ago, after he was finished with me. I've been here maybe an hour after Erick left. I had cleaned myself up, then I just sat down thinking of nothing. I looked down at my arm, and saw that I was bleeding. I must have been scratching my self. I sighed and got up to clean my arm. I walked back out to the main room, put on my sweater. Then left back to the shop. I went right to my Dad's office.

"Hey dad, I think that I'm going back to the house," I said.

"What? No yo stay here Kurt," Dad said.

"I was going to make lunch, or something."

"Dont worry about that."

"Okay."

I walked out, to the shop area. Finn and Puck were working on one car together.

"Do you guys need help?" I asked them.

"NO we'll be fine," Puck said then went back to working.

I walked away to a car that no one was at.

...

"Kurt are you coming?"Puck asked.

"What?" I asked back, looking up to see him.

"It's time to go home,"Puck said.

"Oh, oh yea. Let me go wash my hands," I said walking away from both the car I was working on, and Puck.

I washed my hand and walked out the shop to the car. I went in the back with Sam and Finn. Dad drove back to the house. When we went inside I saw that Aizimo, Karofsky and the rest of Glee club was in my living room.

"Why wasn't I invited to the party?" I asked them with my hands on my hips.

"Finally you guys are here. Now we can start working!" Rachel exicamed.

"What work?" I asked.

"For Glee of course."

"How did you guys even get in the house?" I asked.

"Don't you worry about that," Santana said walking up to me.

Santana grabbed my hand walked me over to a couch and pushed me before I could react, so I ended up falling on Karofsky.

'_Are they still trying to get us together?'_ I thought.

"Sorry," I said getting off of him, and sitting down next to Mike.

"Guys stop trying to get us together," Karofsky said.

"Yea," I agreed

"But why?" Sam whined.

I rolled my eyes at Sam's whining as he ate.

"Who are you guys playing tomorrow night?" I asked the guys that were on the football team, as I changed the topic.

"We're playing against some preppy all boy school," Aizimo said.

"They're called Dalton," Mike said.

"How knows maybe white boy will met someone," Mercedes said.

I rolled my eyes at her. They stayed here talking. Everyone was eating but me. But they all had to leave by dinner time. Carole and Sam were finishing dinner, Finn and Puck were setting the table, and I was in the living room with Dad.

"Are you coming?" Dad asked as he got up to go to the kitchen.

"No I have to do homework," I said and walked away before Dad could say something.

Once I was in my room, I went to my dresser. I took out my razors, that I keep hidden. I rolled up sleeves. My arms had white, red ,and pink scars all over. I picked up my razor, and just started cutting. It overlapped another, and my scars. I finish stated cutting after a few minutes, but that was because I felt something on my legs. I looked down to see that blood was falling on my legs. I got off my bed and went to the bathroom to wash my arms. I threw my pants and shirt to a special dirty pile. I took a shower, got clean, and put on my pj's. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep again.

* * *

Sorry for any and all spelling/ grammar mistakes. Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

"Kurt! Wake up! You have to make us breakfast!" Finn yelled.

I groaned and rolled out of bed. I open the bedroom door.

"Gave me an hour or so!" I yelled back to Finn.

"OKay!" Finn responded.

I rolled my eyes at how we talk to one another. I went to the bathroom, and got ready. I went downstairs to make the boys their food. Puck , Finn, Sam, Aizimo, Karofsky , Mike and Artie were sitting in the living room watching football.

"Why are you guys watching Football, if you're going to play later?" I asked them.

"We like Football," Sam said not looking away from the TV.

I rolled my eyes and went to the kitchen. I made my homemade family recipe pancakes. I made some eggs and bacon too. I set the table,made myself a plate. I set my plate on the counter, and took out fruit. (They'll eat anything I set out for them).

"Come and get it," I yelled to the boys.

I heard them getting up and coming to the table. They sat down and quietly filled up their plates. I rolled my eyes at them, and sat down next to Mike.

"Are you going to put paint on the girls again?" Finn asked me.

"Yeah," respond.

"Can you put my number on you?"

"No."

"But why not?"

"I'm not getting paint on my face."

After we ate the boys went back to their Football game. So I went to Mercedes house, where all the girls were. Once i was there I went right to Merced's room. Brittany was sitting on the floor in,front of Santana who was playing with her hair. Rachel was on the bed, with Mercedes talking. Tina was on the floor with Quinn they were also talking.

"Hello girls," I said and they all stopped talking, said hi to me then keep talking.

"where's the paint?" Santan asked me.

"I don't know. Ask Rachel," I said and leaned on the wall.

"Yo Man-Hands where's the paint?" Santana asked.

Rachel said that it was in the bathroom. So I took the girls (one by one) and did they're face painting. I put the numbers of their boyfriends. Rachel got Finn's. Santan got got Puck's. Quinn got Sam's. Mercedes got Aizimo's. Brittany got Artie's. Tina got Mike's. By the time I finished Quinn, Santana, and Brittany had to go warm,-up. So instead of us all leaving at different times, we all just went. All the girls that weren't on the Cheerios when to find seats, when we got there. I went to the bathroom instead. But I ended up just sitting on the floor. I stayed there till Tina called me, telling me the game was starting. I went and sat next to Dad and Mercedes.

...

We were in Breadsticks laughing, talking, and just having fun. Manly because our team won! The funny thing was that the other team was here too, even though they lost they were still happy. I was talking to Puck when someone patted me on my shoulder. I turned around to see that it was one of the Dartlon boys.

"My name is Sebastian and you're ..." Sebastian trailed off.

I looked at him, like really looked. My eyes were looking at his. He had the greenest eyes I've seen, but I also saw that there was pain in side of them. Sebastian stood up straight, and looked at me.

"I was wondering if I can have your number?" he asked with a small smile.

I nodded my head, and put out my hand. Sebastian took out his phone and gave it to me. I typed in my name and number , then gave it back. But when I gave Sebastian his phone my sleeve went up a little. I don't think he saw it. If he did he didn't show that he did. Sebastian then went back to his table. Once he did my phone went off telling me I got a text message.

_Kurt?- unknown number_

_Sebastian?- Kurt_

_Yea- Sebastian_

_I saw your wrist- S_

_Arent you going to tell me to stop- K_

_I can't do that. You need a reason to stop first -s_

_Why did you trail off? -k_

_I saw the pain in your eyes -s_

_I saw it in your eyes too -k_

_What happened? You could tell me I wouldn't judge, bad things happened to me 2 -s_

_I'm getting raped -k_

_That happened to me 2 -s_

_You were raped? What happened? -k_

_I told my dad and he fixed everything -s_

_I could never tell my dad -k_

_You should tell someone -s_

_I told you -k_

_Someone like your dad -s_

_I just can't :( -k_

_don't worry you'll some day -s_

I looked over to where the Dalton team was sitting at. Sebastian looked over to me and gave a sad smile.

want to hang out tomorrow? -k

Only if we make a deal first -s

what is it? -k

If you want to cut or hurt your self you will call or text me first -s

Deal -k

Then see you tomorrow :) -s

* * *

Sorry for any and all spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

I smiled and looked up from my phone and saw that Puck was looking at me. Puck was looking at me weirdly, he had an eyebrow raised.

"Got now a rich boyfriend?" Puck teased.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said

"Really? I bet you guys are meeting up. If not today tomorrow."

"Noah I promise if anyone finds out about him, you wish you were dead."

Puck looked a little scared so he nodded and turned around to talk someone. That was the first night in years that I didn't cry myself to sleep.

_Ring._

I rolled over and grabbed my phone on my nightstand. Caller ID Sebastian. I picked up the phone.

"Hey Kurt," Sebastian said.

"Hey Bas, wait is that okay?" I asked.

"Yea that's fine. I like it."

"Good. So what are we doing today?"

"About that, I can't leave school, so we can't hang out today."

"If you want I can go over there," I suggested.

"That's like a two-hour drive," Bas said.

"That's fine with me."

"Okay just call me when you get at the school."

"Okay. Bye."

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. Once I was done I went down stairs.

"Hey Dad I'm going out to visit one of my friends," I said.

"Who?" Sam said as he walked out the kitchen to the living room.

"Just someone," I said.

"Sure kid, just make sure you eat," Dad said as he watched tv.

"Yea Dad," I said grabbing my keys and leaving.

...

I parked then took out my phone to call Bas.

"I'll be right down, just come to the main office." Bas said then hanged up the phone.

I put my phone in my pocket and got out the car, then walked to the main office. I didn't really know of i was there or not, because the school was so big!

"Oh there you are," Bas said walking up to me.

"Why don't you get to leave today?" I asked Bas as I followed him.

"Wes wouldn't let me," Bas said.

"Who's that?"

"You'll se, and by the way you're going to meet my show choir."

"You sing?"

"Yup."

Bas then opened a double door. In side were a lot of teen boys yelling at another.

"They need to pick song," Bas said.

Bas grabbed my hand and pulled me in the room. We went to couch, and sat next to another.

"Boys? Warblers! Quite!," a guy yelled as he hit the table with a gavel

Once he yelled everyone quiet down. I looked around surprised.

"Why don't we all vote?" the boy said.

"Who are you?" a boy with blond hair like Sam, said pointing to me.

I moved closer to Bas.

"Sebastian why did you bring someone here?" the guy with the gavel said.

"That's Wes," Bas whispered in my ear.

I nodded my head then put it on Bas' shoulder. Bas then put his arm around me.

"Why is his head on your shoulder, and why is your arm wrapped around him?" a boy with very gelled hair.

"Well Blaine because it's comfortable," Bas said.

"Yea but you're never like that with anyone."

"Well Kurt's special."

"Kurt as in Kurt Hummel?" Wes asked.

"Yes," I said unsure.

"Sebastian why would you bring the competition here?" Wes yelled at Bas.

"It's fun seeing you mad," Bas said.

Wes rolled his eyes, sat down at his table and talked to the other guys at the same table with him. Wes looked at Bas then me. Till he sighed.

"Just don't tell your teammates okay?" Wes asked.

"Yea sure," I agreed.

Wes and Blaine started to talk about songs, and Katy Perry. But I soon got bored. So I rolled up in a ball on the couch, put my head on Bas' chest, his arm was still wrapped around me. I looked around the room.

_'They have a lot of nice things_,' I thought.

Some point of me thinking about the room Bas has started to mess up and play with my hair.

"Hey ummm Kurt," the blond guy called me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Do you like Katy Perry?" He asked me.

I got confused by his question, but I remembered that Wes and Blaine were fighting about this. I looked up at a Bas to see his answer, but he wasn't looking at me. All he did was smile looking at the wall.

"Not really," I finally answered,

"But how could you not?" Blaine asked me.

"I just don't," I said now unsure of my answer.

"Blaine how 'bout you shut up we're not doing Katy Perry," Bas said, holding me tighter.

Blaine frowned sitting back down.

"Thank you for helping Kurt," Wes said nicely.

They had kept on talking about what song to do, till I fell asleep again.

* * *

Sorry I took so long! I have no internet. Sorry for any and all spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

Kurt, wake up," a soft voice said as I was being shook.

I opened my eyes to see that the room where the Warblers were was now empty. I looked up at Bas to see he had a soft smile.

"When did the meeting end?" I asked.

"About two hours ago," Bas said.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I yelled at Bas.

"Because I bet you even have a hard time falling asleep, don't you?"

"Thank you."

I laid back on him and we stayed in silence.

"Why aren't you asking me any questions?" I asked.

"Do you want me to?" Bas asked.

"Not really, but, you know."

"I do. And you know about me, so why aren't you asking me any questions?"

I stayed quiet not knowing how to answer that.

"You're scared that I'll get mad at you, right?" Bas asked.

"Maybe," I mumbled.

"I wouldn't get mad just so you know."  
"I'll keep that in mind. By the way I have no clue how I'll react."

"Don't worry if I have any questions I'll ask with care."

"Can we get out of this room?"

"Yeah sure we can go to my room, my roommate isn't there. But that's only if you want, we can go somewhere different too," Bas said.

"No that's okay, we can go to your room," I said.

We got up, and I followed Bas in the school to his room. Bas opened the door and we went in. There were two beds in the room (there was about two of everything).

"My bed is on the right," Bas said standing in front of me.

I nodded my head and sat on his bed.

"Kurt?" Bas called me.

I looked over to him and saw that he was sitting at his desk.

"Why don't you tell anyone?" Bas asked me.

"No one needs to know," I responded.

"Your dad does."

"No he doesn't. If he finds out he'll lose a high school friend."

"Kurt I don't think your dad would mind losing him, as long as you're safe. I bet he would even be happy to lose that guy."

"Why did you tell your dad?" I asked, trying to turn the tables.

"He begged and cried, so that I would tell him," Bas said looking at me.

"Why would he do that?"

"We were in the hospital and well I was under suicide watch."

"You tired to kill yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Do the Warblers know?" I asked.

"No," Bas responded.

"Do they know that you were raped?"

"No. All they know is that I sleep around a lot," Bas said, his voice breaking.

I moved further back on the bed, till my back hit the wall.

"Come here," I told Bas patting a space next to me.

Bas got out of his chair and sat next to me. I grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him down. His head was in my lap. I didn't say anything, and neither did he. Then I started to play with his hair. Bas then started to softly cry. I started to rub his back. I didn't shush him, he should be able to let it go. I didn't tell him "it'll be okay/it's okay " or "it's going to get better". Because what happened to him is not okay and I don't know if everything will be okay. After a while Bas cried himself to sleep. I kept on playing with his hair so I can stay awake. But that didn't work out so well.

...

Eric held me down, he was smiling above from me. I was crying. I long ago stopped screaming for help. Then Eric's smile turned in to a frown, and he whispered in my ear.

"Don't be scared you'll love it."

Eric then kissed my neck. More tears ran down my face. Then he entered me without warning

'I guess it was a good thing he prepped me first,' I thought sadly.

But I still screamed out loud. To only get slapped across the face. Eric looked right at me and said.

"Kurt? Kurt, wake up. Wake up!"

I opened my eyes to see Bas was next to me. His eyes had worry in them. But I didn't care, I couldn't. I needed relief now. So I jumped out of bed, and went digging in my bag for it.

"Kurt, what are you doing?" Bas asked.

I ignored him. Then I found it, my razor. I pulled up my sleeve but, before I could cut the razor was out of my hand. Bas was on the floor sitting in front of me, with razor in hand.

"Kurt, don't," Bas said in a sad voice.

"No I need it! You don't understand. Please, Bas, I need it! I need it," I started out yelling but, ended up on the floor crying.

Bas moved to me and held me. He did the same thing I did to him. He didn't say anything. He just let me cry.

* * *

Sorry for any and all grammar/spelling mistakes. Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!


End file.
